It's just the same, a stupid game.

Sat, 04 Sep 2004 00:17:04 GMT

Okay since a couple other people did this for me I'll do it for them.

Leave a comment with your name if you want to know what I really think of you, and I’ll reply and tell you.
No lies, all honesty.
Post it in your journal after I do yours so I can see the reverse.

PS. Guess who is going to see Morrissey?!?! That's right, this girl. 5th row, suckers! I have 2 other tickets if anyone would like to purchase them. They are section R.

PPS. A new friends only journal shall be coming soon.

Fri, 13 Aug 2004 09:22:58 GMT

I love Adam so much. He is the best boyfriend ever!

Anyone who believes that or the past two entries really doesn't know me at all.
Nice try though, assholes.

I think I'll leave them though just for comedic value.

Anyway. Don't act stupid, you will be sorry.

Fri, 30 Jul 2004 08:01:56 GMT

Tonight was great!!!

Adam did show up.. and we ended hitting it off real well. He came back here. And.. you can imagine the rest... he's sleeping on my bed right now ;-) awww its so cute!! For once I am really happy with someone.

PS: (NEVER HAD SOMEONE SO GOOD IN BED)

Fri, 30 Jul 2004 04:26:26 GMT

I've been talking to this really awesome guy online named Adam. He's really cute, but his family seems kinda crazy. We were supposed to meet last night but he saw me flirting with my friend and thought I was just fucking with him! I feel sooo bad about it. But then tonight he was going to meet me at Mike's in manassas and he never fucking showed up... I don't know what to think. I think i'm crushing though. Whatever fuck it. I'm too cool too worry about it.

Thu, 29 Jul 2004 08:52:06 GMT

I've said this once and I'll say it again: People are fucking retards.
I don't think I can stress this enough.

Erin and I went to Denny's in Fairfax tonight. Oo change of scenery. We sat with Mike and Joe and that was pretty much it. Delighting.

ps. my speakers are fixed, yay. somehow they were on mute!

Mon, 26 Jul 2004 02:34:37 GMT

So..this week was interesting. My parent's left for the beach leaving me the house to myself EXCEPT for the fact my sister would be sleeping here each night. No reason for her to be here, I can handle myself I do it everyday.
Monday Stacey and I went to Fredericksburg to see Dead to Fall and they ended up coming back here to stay the night in my basement. Did I say basement? Oh sorry, I meant drive way because my sister is a bitch. Oh and also my bed. I barely got any sleep, but that's okay.
Tuesday I hung out with Erin, started to fall asleep so I took a nap and hung out with Jordan later that night. No sleep yet again.
Wednesday was WOW. Stacey and I did something bad. Brett came from PA and we partied all night. Punch Drunk Love is a weird movie. I like mardi gras beads. Stacey loves my dance costumes but doesn't like my tank top because it scares her.
Thursday was full of headaches and insane tiredness. Went to see As I Lay Dying and HIMSA at Jaxx with Nadia and Stacey and struggled to stay awake. Afterwards went to Denny's with the girls and Indian Steve.
Friday Erin and I took a road trip to Harrisonburg for the can't afford hellfest fest featuring glass casket, beloved, caliban, between the buried and me and evergreen terrace. Some good music but some shitty ass people (except for a select few).
Saturday I took Stacey, Erin and Stephanie to Nissan to see POISON and KISS. haha wow that was an amazing experience. I wish more people had come with us. We ended up at the diner.
Today I've done nothing. I finally caught up on my sleep. With no money and no gas it's hard to do much. I would have liked to go see Bane and Comeback Kid but yeah..the whole no money or gas thing comes in to play there as well.
I've decided that I'd like new friends. The problem is not many people are worth it. If you think you're worth it this is the time to try.
Also, I still need a job. If anyone wants to give me money that would also be really really rad. ha.
Ps. My computer speakers aren't working. Fix them.

Mon, 12 Jul 2004 21:48:28 GMT

Saturday night was fun at the Black Cat with Stacey and Casey. I have decided we must go dancing more often but not be sober. Some weird guy was yelling at me on the metro and made me very uncomfortable. I guess that's what I get for wearing a low cut shirt? What the hell.

I am so fucking bored. If anyone wants to do anything they need to get ahold of me because I am up for almost anything at this point.

Breaking it down.

Sun, 11 Jul 2004 18:43:23 GMT

I just fell down the stairs.

Wed, 07 Jul 2004 05:19:42 GMT

Today was good! (With a few exceptions..)

Traffic and insane hotness was bad.

Also, probably ruined Erin's birthday since I haven't been able to focus on much else. Hopefully we will do something birthday worthy soon.

Stop that tickles!

Sat, 03 Jul 2004 02:02:59 GMT

So..after telling Jordan 5 times last night to BE CAREFUL, he gets in a car accident. What a butt head, I mean come on...do what I say! (that was me joking, for those of you retards reading this).

Apparently he was going down the fairfax county parkway at like 430 in the morning and nodded out for a second and went over the median and hit a car head first going 55. They had to use the jaws of life to get him out of the car and flew him to the hospital. He broke his nose, has stitches on his nose and on his eye..he is all scratched and beaten and bruised from his seat belt and also said he may have bleeding so may need surgery for that as well, I'm not sure about that. The other person broke their leg.

I grabbed Stacey and rushed over to the hospital as fast as I could to see him. I love that boy so much and I'm glad he's okay but he needs to fuckin straighten up. It could have been worse...I'm so glad it wasn't. What a perfect time for this to happen...not.

I was having a hard time with everything but..I'm stoned now so everything is fine. Using drugs to make your self feel better rules! Why didn't I think of this years ago?
Cry about it.

<333333333333333333

Why do I care?

Wed, 30 Jun 2004 08:15:18 GMT

You are a selfish little prick.

Mon, 28 Jun 2004 07:06:06 GMT

Fuck my life. I love you, goodbye.

Thu, 24 Jun 2004 17:54:41 GMT

Look. If you are a stupid bitch and you think you know shit about me, YOU FUCKING DON'T! Don't think what I say is about you. Don't gossip about me like you know what's going on. Most of all, don't ever think I want to have girl talk with you because I don't want to.
Why are people so ridiculous?

Thu, 24 Jun 2004 06:03:12 GMT

Okay so...this is cute.
Today I asked people to tell me something exciting and happy...

Na*** R***ne: we might be signing to eulogy records

Doug*****ing: when I asked my mom for a drumset when I was younger she didnt get me one
Doug*****ing: but instead she got me a bass guitar.. and to this day because of that
Doug*****ing: I can play every instrument

po*****t of past: i just remembered all of the lyrics to the theme song from David The Gnome

d*********gy: i love you
d*********gy: you are a great person
d*********gy: and a good friend
d*********gy: and and and
d*********gy: you are gorgeous

te**wolf***c**ws: im puttinb lotion on my naked body

B****V44: hmm, im going to a concert on friday

UR**L M*TZ: i once got stuck in a elevator and had to climb out all movie style..

da**er****1212: i love you!

me**th**ller: I GOTTA PEE SO BAD BUT IM FAT AND CANT MOVE

Sp*m***s*e: hmmm
Sp*m***s*e: i love you!

MrBre****Hood: i made a website for my band

V*BloodB**h: my boner is like... 7 inches long

con****t c**les: i went out the other night and i almost got caught stealing a sign off 95 but we dipped out from the cop and lost him in a neighborhood

Forc*****enceSxE: haha that iv always had a crush on you

zombie***ttack: i saw harry potter for the 3rd time today

EvilL****tt55: i got the clap?

Da**d80m***ion: your hair looks good damn it!

Kay, now be excited and happy. GO!

Tue, 22 Jun 2004 21:55:46 GMT

Fuck my life! FuckmylifefuckmylifefuckmylifeFuckmylifefuckmylifefuckmylifeFuckmylifefuckmylifefuckmylifeFuckmylifefuckmylifefuckmylifeFuckmylifefuckmylifefuckmylifeFuckmylifefuckmylifefuckmylifeFuckmylifefuckmylifefuckmylifeFuckmylifefuckmylifefuckmylifeFuckmylifefuckmylifefuckmylifeFuckmylifefuckmylifefuckmylifeFuckmylifefuckmylifefuckmylife!
(that's all one word.)

Lollapalooza is cancelled. That means no Morrissey, that means no other good bands. But mainly it means no Morrissey and that in turn means SAD SAD KATIE.

Seriously..everything I work for or look forward to seems to never happen.
It's true.

ps. eat butt.

Mon, 21 Jun 2004 20:56:22 GMT

I have a question for all of you reading this.
What has been the greatest mystery in your life?

I shall answer first.

I had two baby chickens once. At night, I kept them in an old wooden box that had wire on the sides and a door in the front that you'd pull up to slide open with a little rusty latch to keep it locked. It was used to transport my cat, Cleo, to the vets office because we didn't have one of those fancy moderm plastic pet traveling cases. One morning, I came outside to check on my chickies and they had vanished! The case had been opened and all that was left of my chicks was a few feathers strewn here and there around the scene of the crime. Apparently a fox had eaten them, but it must have been a damn smart fox because he would have had to unlatch the hook, slide the door up and grab the ducks! At any rate...it was a sad sad affair. To this day I have no clue what happened to my little babies. And honestly, I don't really care anymore because it was pretty annoying to clean up their smelly shit and put up with them peeping all the time.
RIP my little friends. (I forget their names).

Sun, 20 Jun 2004 10:17:34 GMT

Yep. Boring night. Kept myself entertained by taking pictures. I will post some for fun but I'm wearing a bra in these so if you are going to freak out don't fucking look at them. They are tasteful. Tasteful AND tastey. Mm..hahah.
James made two of them pretty in photoshop so go him.

There are more but I don't think everyone would be looking a them the way I'd want them to so they won't be posted.

Sun, 20 Jun 2004 02:37:26 GMT

Sweet, dudes. Being home alone on a Saturday night rules (especially when it's your best friends birthday). It doesn't just rule, it r00lz. Yeah..fuck this.

Happy Birthday Stacey..

Fri, 18 Jun 2004 02:58:44 GMT

I got up early today to go with my family to meet my dad in DC for lunch (early father's day because he will be out of town). It wasn't bad..I actually had a decent time. On the ride home my brother came with me and we got to have an actual TALK, it was crazy. We never just talk about things like that...I feel good about it, though. Things will be okay for him I think.

What else..ah yes, I found out my mom had some acrylic and oil paints in the basement so I paint painted for awhile. Just doodles.
I put everything on the floor and started passing out hardcore. I'm so fucking tired!! It was storming out..the perfect time to fall asleep, I couldn't help it. I slept for a bit but I made myself get up because I knew I'd wake up at some odd time during the night when no one was awake and get all weirded out.

While I was asleep I had some WEIRD dreams. One was that Stacey and I were in some weird Spa(?) or something and this asian lady was touching me or massaging me but it was just casually because I was standing and she was sitting in front of me..the bitches hands kept wandering all over my body (specifially my v) and I didn't know what to do. Stacey and I tried not to laugh because we figured it was just part of the massage (or whatever it was) and so we just went along with it. Later, Stacey's ex bf Morgan showed up and was just standing around and it made me really uncomfortable to have him there waiting for us. There was this insanely gay nerdy guy who worked there and he kept trying to joke around with Morgan about how he wanted to fuck Stacey and I. So after some other weird shit happened, everyone started stabbing each other with pens and I couldn't tell if they were just kidding around, or actually stabbing each other. Then one of the guys came up to me and started stabbing me with the pen.
I'm really curious as to what this means because I have had weird ass dreams about getting stabbed with a pen before. That time it was a zombie trying to stab me with it and I took it and stabbed her instead.
From what I looked up, pen's signify self-expression and communication. Being stabbed signifies struggle with power or feelings of inadequacy and defensiveness. So what does that mean? Getting stabbed with a pen means I'm getting stabbed with self expression and I feel inadequate about it?

On a completely different note, apparently Richie is coming to visit not this weekend but next. I will believe it when I see it because he has told me that many times and never done it! If he comes this time its because he has incentive. He is really going to get it, fucking bitch.

Stacey's birthday is Saturday, faggots!

Wed, 16 Jun 2004 08:38:37 GMT

Okay so..one of my online friends, Schuylar, who I used to talk to a lot sings in this band called He Is Legend who just recently signed to Solid State. They played a show in Maryland on Saturday and Stacey and I went up to seeee. Bloody Sunday played..and some other band who I didn't see and some band called Project 86 who all these kids were into. Anyway, after the show they followed me home. We went to Denny's in Woodbridge, our waiter was a retard...Matt won a froggie from the animal grabbie game. After that we came home and they slept in my basement. Too bad they were so tired. It was hard falling asleep knowing how badly I wanted to go down there and..well...yeah. So anyway. It was fun. Matt forgot his froggie.
They are a really good band, I urge you guys to check them out! They aren't a "hardcore" band but they have tons of influences and they are all truely talented. So if you appreciate talent, check it. www.heislegend.com
I took some pictures of them playing so I guess I will post those now seeing as how I'm bored.

<3

Stacey and I had our own little sleep over upstairs.

And to talk about something completely different...fuck my life!! Darrell's band, The Phantom Pains, were playing a show in Richmond on the 3rd but now they got taken off the bill and aren't coming. This is seriously the second time this shit has gotten fucked up. I know it's not their fault but, ugh!! This shit sucks. I'm sad about it. And of course, there is no one cool around here to cheer me up. I really wanted to spend time with him and I was looking forward to meeting Cory. Boo. :(

H&M needs to stop being fucking idiots and call me for an interview. I'm going to strut in there tomorrow and be like, look bitches...you're going to give me a job and you are going to love it. (just like that, watch me.)

Fri, 11 Jun 2004 06:39:36 GMT

Okay so the day went better than expected! Stacey and I went to the salon and Nicki did a fabulous job on my hair. I love her, she is awesome. If anyone needs their hair done, go see her.
For the rest of the day + a million pictures of me and my hair, click on the link.

On the way to the salon. I look fat. It was so hot. Ew.

Next was graduation. We were a late but made it in time to see Katie walk.
Stacey didn't want her peekture taken.

We saw Alex. We <3 him.

Holy shit! Rob!
We sat at a picnic table and smoked the whole time because we are rebels (still, even though we're all out of school).

Yay! Katie graduated! (not the best picture..)

And that was that. Time to go to my house but first we sat in traffic and baked in the heat.

What happened next was neither expected nor planned....SAVES THE DAY (through with being cool) DANCE PARTY IN KATIES ROOM 2K4.

And a pause to take a picture of the hair.

Zombies are fucking sexy so if this isn't sexy, I don't know what is.

Rocks Tonic Juice Magic..you know the song..."And I'd listen to you cry And I'd remember how I miss our nights under ocean skies." This was obviously taken on the "cry" part. HAHAHA it rules.

I'm changing the dance party name to the SWEATY I LOOK LIKE A MAN DANCE PARTY 2K4.

Then I picked my nose (omgz its my new icon) and we left.

We stopped by Chad's house for a bit but left so Stacey could change her clothes and freshen upppp.

Stacey freshening up = me taking 9238049234 pictures of myself.

My mullet rules.

Fishy faceeeeeeeee.

OmGzzzz peekaboo!

Duhr.

Whatev, sucka.

666

Laying on Stacey's messy floor.

OKAY THE END OF THAT!
Next we picked up James and went to the diner. WHAT A SUPRISE.
Me and James, OMGZ.

Stacey died smoking a cigarette. It's sad. <3

James takes the best pictures of me hahahaha.

Alright, that's it..no more.
That wasn't that many, right? HAAA.

Thu, 10 Jun 2004 11:16:01 GMT

Okay so today I'm getting my hair done. I'm nervous and kind of scHAIRed. HAHAHAH get it? Oh man, I rule. I've been cleaning and doing this lame self help book so I can make $100 to pay for this shit so it'd better look good. I trust Nicki but..yeah.
After hair = Brentsville's graduation @ Nissan. I hope it's not as hot as I think it's going to be. I hope people don't try and talk to me. (bvt OmGz k4ti3 fritt3r iz soooo t0ta||y p0pul4r!)
I need to sleep but I'm really not tired. Ugh.
Hot dogs and banana's rule.
The end. <3

Wed, 09 Jun 2004 23:30:34 GMT

i w4s t0t4a||y j0king 0mgZ lyk s3ri0us|y

Tue, 08 Jun 2004 19:07:28 GMT

I am so fucking out of my mind right now!! I keep feeling like I'm wide awake, so I can't sleep..yet...I'm tired. I got a couple hours of sleep but I woke up atleast once every hour so I don't know how that factors in. I missed the venus transit this morning because it was foggy as hell and that really sucks because I was hoping I'd be able to see something that no one who is alive has ever seen and will ever see again.
I feel like I have so much to do. I need money so badly. "Yeah well, get a job"..Yeah I know, fuck you. I'm still waiting for H&M to call me back.
I have a hair appointment on Thursday with Nicki and originially she said she'd do it for free but now that her manager is back in town, she can't. So that's $100 that I don't fucking have. I have to spend the next two days cleaning because I'll need to clean for 10 hours in order to make the money to pay for my hair. It'd better look fucking amazing. I will probably end up just doing it myself again because I can't keep paying that much money to get my hair done. I owe my dad $50 for hfstival, I owe Stacey $70 for Curiosa and I'm not sure if the cleaning I did the other night paid off my Lollapalooza ticket yet or not. Not to mention all the other things I need like gas, food, cigarettes, clothes (yes I fucking NEED them).
After I get my hair done I have to rush to Nissan because we're going to Brentsvilles Graduation. I'm not looking forward to seeing everyone and having them ask me what I've been up to for the past year. I hope atleast I look cute so that makes up for my answer which will be "um, nothing..sitting in my fucking basement for a year you douche bag". Thanks for nothing. Friday Stacey and I were going to prom with Jordan and Brian but now that isn't happening because Jordan is A FUCKING RETARD. Jordan if you read this, you need to stop being an idiot. I'm serious. What is wrong with you. It's not like we hadn't been planning this for MONTHS. It's not like you didn't know how excited I was about it. When were you planning on talking to me about it? You called, but you sure didn't act like you had anything to talk about except "uhhhh what are you doing?". You didn't say shit about it until I brought it up. That's when you say, "oh yeah..ive been meaning to talk to you about that". What did you think???? Did you think I'd just forget about it or something? You don't like me because I'm always pissed at you well, maybe you should take the time to fucking sit down with me and talk about shit otherwise every little stupid thing you do will keep making me more angry until one day I will fucking kill you with my brain waves of rage. hahahahahahahahaha.

Anyway..anyone remember that stupid self help book my mom gave me awhile ago? (I posted pictures). Well, she's trying to give me another one!! This one is called, "Ten Days to Self Esteem". When I saw that shit I was like "Mom, what the fuck..you are retarded, I have self esteem." She was like, "It's about depression and you need to read it it might help you bla bla bla". HOW THE FUCK IS SOME LAME BOOK SUPPOSED TO HELP ME. That is so retarded. I don't even want to waste my time but this morning she told me she'd give me $10 for every chapter I worked through. hahahahaha. How funny is that. SO FUNNY. So I may just fucking laugh my way through it just to get money. She wants me to read the book since I'm not going to therapy. She should just pay me to go to therapy, that would be amazing. I'd go twice a week. Going to therapy would become my job. haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Holy crap, I can't breathe.
I hate being ignored. If any of you ever ignore me on purpose I hope you choke.

Mon, 07 Jun 2004 07:29:50 GMT

Wow, last night was amazing until I started hysterically crying for 2 hours. hahaha.
There will be pictures...oh yes.